WHY do people loooooove to count other peoples coins, pockets, cheese, pennies, and blessings?
Most of us are soooo consumed by the status of others that we fail to realize that it actually skews our own reality and often blocks the very blessings designated for us.
If you have ever looked at another (friend, stranger, co-worker, neighbor, family member, etc) and made an assumption of their quality of life based on materialistic or superficial things (i.e., the car they drive, the house they reside in, clothes/shoes they wear, job title, etc) then you’ve counted their pockets. The error in that is that things are not often what they appear and quantity or abundance does in no way equal QUALITY. Quality of life has little to do with money or status and everything to do with those feelgood moments, making a difference in the lives of others, fulfilling one’s passion, and dare I say love no less. Things are just that, superficial objects to satisfy temporary wants/percieved needs. However, an empty soul and misaligned spirit is the most nothingness existence. We can always dress up our lives and hide behind ‘things’ but we can’t hide from ourselves.
Honestly, we all have probably counted someone else’s pockets and/or blessings at some point in time but there is definitely a difference between curiosity of one’s lifestyle, perceived success, abundance of blessings, versus the assumption of a life well lived, living THE life or having a better life based on those things we see. More often than not the more disadvantaged one is, the more apt they are to view one’s life in this fashion. I get it, when life is tough or one is down on their luck, looking at another seemingly ‘successfully blessed’ individual lessens the pain but really it’s just a mask for what is real which is the current circumstance. Wondering why ‘them and not you’ is self-defeatist and counterproductive. Saying things such as, oh they’re living comfortably – which means what? Or perhaps in the negative, “they must not be doing THAT well if they aren’t wearing this, or driving that, or clipping coupons, or not going out” or a slew of other empty, meaningless comments add no value to your own life or present situation. Word to the wise, those who are LIVING are too busy living to focus on what another is doing or perceived to be doing as there is often a greater understanding that life is what we make it and is ours and ours alone based on how WE have designed it. Besides in the space of living our lives we are doing just that and often on a continual quest for the next, or more, or bigger or better. Really with all this dreaming and wanting [for those who are merely living THEIR lives] is a lot of plotting, planning, executing and living.
Think about it, although probably living THEIR life, that big house has a big note, that fancy car has a fancy price; that fancy job has a lot of fancy people wanting, demanding with fancy expectations; that fancy lifestyle comes with a high price tag. We’re all living just living differently.
In life we can and should all dream and acknowledge the success and/or blessings of others but more as a sense of hope, as something we can learn from versus a place of “why NOT me” or dare I say envy or jealousy! Many spend so much time focused on what someone else has or what they’ve been gifted/blessed with or how the lives [of the 'more' fortunate] appear that they miss their very own blessings and opportunities.
Let’s face it, the life we live is the life we live based on decisions and choices we, ourselves, have chosen to make over the course of our lives. If I’ve learned nothing from the great big world around me, the miracles that happen everyday, the things I, myself, have been able to accomplish (albeit small in my eyes but merely because I had the desire to dream) it’s that we each have the ability to accomplish nearly anything we want as long as we dream, believe and take steps to make things happen. Besides as the old saying goes, “to whom much is given, much is expected” so when you get the urge to (if you feel so inclined to do so) look at the next person and ASSume that their life is grand or they’ve been soo blessed whilst you can’t buy a blessing remember that the power lies within each of us and nothing comes without first taking a step, in applying action to a dream.
Blessings come in many forms and often are disguised as heartbreak, misfortune, near-misses, let down, disappointment. However if we focus on what isn’t, we’ll no doubt miss what IS. We are each blessed beyond compare but looking at the blessings of others is a surefire way of missing your own. Nearly every time something amazing has happened to/for me it was first something notso amazing but because I’ve been blessed <–yes that – to know the power of believing and counting my own blessings in the midst of discomfort, I’ve been able to take full advantage of each amazing moment.
It is nearly impossible to focus on your blessings if you’re looking elsewhere. Each day take stock in your place and space in time and you’ll no doubt see the beauty in the moment, the shear blessing of just being able to see the moment!
Peace and blessings…..of your very own!